sub173
From: Andrew King [aking@BURNSIDE.ORG.AU]
Sent: Saturday, 12 November 2005 4:14 PM
To: Family Responsibilities
Subject: Submission for inquiry
The significance of the non-deficit perspective
Amongst the many and varied descriptions of masculinity, the non-deficit perspective (King, 2000; King, 2001; King, Sweeney & Fletcher, 2004; Hawkins & Dollahite, 1997) identifies that in many men, their relationship with their children is a very significant connection. This connection with significant family relationships can be viewed as ‘the quiet place within’ that Australian men talk about least. It is a personal space that men rarely share. Until recently, it was not until men approached the end of their life, that they often expressed regret for spending too such time at work and not enough time with their family. This reflection is still experienced today, as many men only start talking about the importance of their family relationships after the crisis has occurred, such as family separation.
Australian men are becoming more vocal about this quiet place, i.e. the importance of their connection with their family, particularly their children. What is occurring is a quiet men’s revolution. This men’s revolution is not as vocal as the women’s movement, but it is noticed as men talk about achieving a better balance between work and family demands. The change is seen by how men behave differently as they walk hand-in-hand with their children and proudly push the pram. Some men identify the reason for attend a fathering program, is because they want to father their children differently to how they were fathered. The birth of a child is now a ‘wake-up call’ for many men and an opportunity for them to review the choices they make in life and provides the motivation to develop stronger relationships.
The shadowy side of men’s behaviour still exists. It is in this context that many men and family relationship services operate. The challenge for programs is to engage men in working with this ‘quiet space’. The non-deficit perspective does not condone inappropriate male behaviours but harnesses the positive motivations that makes change a reality. Once this quiet space is entered and men are engaged in accessing M&FR programs, the skills used by professional workers in working with women can be applied to working with men.
Current challenges
While significant achievements have occurred in working with men (O’Brien & Rich, 2002) , the challenge is still enormous. The Western Australian Report that reviewed Family and Parent Support Services for Men (Nixon, 1999) identified that men have major health problems. They have high rates of depression, suicide, violence, drug and alcohol use and fatal motor vehicle accidents.
The report recognises that there is still a strong belief that men do not ask for help but fix themselves. Promotion of men and family relationship services still needs improvement as many men view the word ‘counselling’ as a punitive response for workplace misdemeanours (Nixon, 1999). It is still common for men to remark “I never thought such services for men existed” when they first come into contact with M&FR programs. Men’s health programs recognise that men visit their doctor less than women and only seek help only after a crisis has occurred (Nixon, 1999).
The inflexibility of the Australian workplace (at the shop, factory or self-employment level) and the widespread existence of family violence, are still significant issues that confront programs as men usually access programs only when a crisis occurs. A variety of public awareness campaigns have been useful in promoting a responsive environment that encourages the proactive view that it is okay for men to seek help before the crisis occurs.
For instance, Mensline, the Australian national men’s phone counselling service, has placed regular advertisements in national and local newspapers. The development of Mensline has been an opportunity to provide an initial assessment and counselling service for men. The men are referred to services in their local areas where they can continue to have their needs met in a more comprehensive way.
Principles for effective practice
Eight principles have been identified for working effectively with men:
- Importance of perceived equality
- Existence of ‘window periods’ where men access support
- The need for fathering services to be distinguished from general parenting services
- The value of personal recommendation about services
- The importance of flexible service delivery
- Client involvement in program development
- Solution focused approach
- Local area coordination
Extract from: King, A. 2005. The 'quiet revolution' amongst men. Developing the practice of working with men in family relationships. Children Australia Vol.30 No. 2
Andrew King
Training Coordinator
UnitingCare Burnside
PO Box 6866
Parramatta 2150
Phone: 02 9768 6819
Fax: 02 9630 0664
www.burnside.org.au
Donations Line: 1800 660 866
For the latest Burnside Training Programs, visit: http://www.burnside.org.au/organisation/page.cfm?id=35
