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SUBMISSION TO PRU GOWARD 

LABOUR/TIME DIVISION OF A FAMILY IN BATEMANS BAY  

TANYA FANE March 2005

 

INTRODUCTION

On Friday 18 th February 2005, Ms. Pru Goward addressed the Dental Hygiene Association of Australia (ACT Branch) at their Seminar Day at Old Parliament House. Pru spoke about the division of labour in homes around Australia and the need for a Commission into the attainment of balance between work and family life within the Australian family. How could this be achieved in the modern era of working parents and declining population growth? The need to encourage an increase in birthrate to provide the workers (and taxpayers) of the future; the need for better fulfillment in work and promotion for men and women; the need to allow women to catch up to males in pay and conditions as well as equal potential for promotion to management positions; the need for children to spend more time with the significant male in the family and the need to reduce the divorce rates in Australia, are all to be examined in detail if Australia is to continue being the Lucky Country. These are the elements of happiness and maintenance of the family unit that will allow future generations to flourish.

How can all this be achieved? What is the ‘perfect family balance’? Is this concept utopia and therefore unachievable? Do any of you wish to submit your interpretation of the balance of family and work, Pru asked?

My name is Tanya Fane, and I have a family and work arrangement that I would consider balanced (most of the time) and allows me to pursue a career and be a wife and mother in a place I wish to live. Our family life is unconventional, and not entirely perfect. I don’t know too many perfect family arrangements, but I think we are closer than most.

BACKGROUND

In April 1988, I married Peter, a car mechanic. I was working as a School Dental Therapist in a lovely coastal town called Batemans Bay, on the NSW South Coast. Soon after, in June 1988, my husband and I were sworn in as the first (and apparently the last….I’m not sure what you can say about that) married couple into the Royal Australian Air Force (RAAF). We went through recruits together, lived in separate quarters for the 10 week duration, and graduated in August 1988. We were posted to Wagga Wagga where I commenced duties as a Direct Entry Dental Hygienist, and Peter commenced studies to train as an Instrument Fitter.

By 1996 we were in Newcastle posted to RAAF Williamtown, with 2 young children, having been born whilst I was still a uniformed member of the RAAF. Life with children and the RAAF did not exactly fit, so I discharged to take up a part time position as a Dental Therapist, 4 days per week. The children were in separate childcare since I could not get care in the one facility for an infant and a 3 year old. I would travel 5 km south, then 15 km north and toward work to drop off each child, having my younger boy nearest to me at work. My daily ritual meant I drove for approximately 45 mins each day, each way to go to and from work.

I decided I would like the choice of work as a Dental Therapist or a Dental Hygienist, but found out I was not permitted by any Dental Boards to practice as a Hygienist unless I underwent full retraining and examination, since I had not formally done so for the RAAF. I had, however, worked under the direct supervision of dentists and specialists for 8 years and had been deemed one of the best clinicians in the forces by my superiors, and was promoted in minimum time.

The most affordable way for me to attain civilian Hygiene training was a new course being established in Brisbane, as a bridging course for Dental Therapists to incorporate Hygiene and health promotion studies. Great…except we lived in Newcastle, had children 18 months and 4 years, had our own home, and lived near some of my closest family. To get onto this new course, sponsored by Queensland Health, I had to not only move up there, but get a position as a Dental Therapist for at least two years to qualify to be considered for the course. In short, we did all the above, and miraculously Peter got an exchange posting to Amberley RAAF Base near Ipswich outside Brisbane.

We carefully selected a home in between our respective work locations, I moved to Brisbane ahead of my husband taking our little 18 month old son with me. So began the odyssey to get on the Hygiene course (by no means guaranteed). Once again, bingo, I got on the first intake of the first course in QLD, which was incidentally the first course of its type in the world incorporating distance learning modules, whilst carrying out compulsory work commitments as a Dental Therapist for QLD Health in return for their sponsorship of each student. In short, I had a 3 year old, 5 year old starting school, 3 days at work (still taking kids to care and back, doing all other Mum duties to numerous to mention), and the equivalent of full time university distance study. We had blocks of time in at the universities (University of QLD and QLD University of Technology), and exam blocks as well as clinical logs as the course concluded. I averaged 6.5 out of a possible 7 GPA. And I stayed sane. At the age of 36, in the year 2000, I finally graduated as a real Dental Hygienist, able to practice privately, or choose to remain as a Dental Therapist. I was clawing my way to personal and professional freedom.

By late 2001, my father was becoming very unwell and Peter was offered a redundancy to leave the RAAF. The family mostly lived down the South Coast of NSW and surrounds, and my parents were in Nowra and needed my support. The RAAF paid for Peter’s discharge removal to anywhere in Australia. We decided I was the logical contender to be the major breadwinner since I had invested so much time, money and effort into my studies. Time for me to gain from my study and give Peter a break, and time with the kids while we settle in our new home. I gained a position at a dental surgery in Batemans Bay, 1.5 hours drive south of Nowra, and the place Peter and I had wed.

BALANCE – WORK AND HOME AND HAPPINESS

I worked for 2 years at the practice in Batemans Bay. Life was excellent – catching up with old friends from years ago, and making new friends. The kids settled into schooling with little disruption, and Peter settled into the new home I had found for us. I had moved down to Batemans Bay to start the new position and purchase a house 3 months ahead of the family’s arrival. It was great to be together again, and close to my parents, and Peter’s mother in Queanbeyan.

Work was becoming unhappy for me probably 10 months into the position. Thankfully, part of our ‘plan’ for the future was to factor in the fact that I may need to look for work elsewhere (i.e. Canberra) if this position did not work out, since this was the only Hygiene job from Kiama to Merimbula. This was not pessimism, it was sensible consideration of the reality of work potential for the long term. Batemans Bay is within 2 hours of Canberra, which is a major employment area for Dental Hygienists. If we needed to, perhaps I would look to the ACT for work. I remained for 2 years at Batemans Bay, but by March 2004, I could not see myself continuing without irretrievable damage to my self-esteem and long term happiness. My husband feared me coming home with yet another tale of woe from work. This job was no longer viable. What to do when I am the main breadwinner? Peter was now working 5 days per fortnight at the local hospital in clerical work, so there was reasonable parental contact and availability for the children. His wage would not cover our costs, however.

The Solution? I saw an advert on the DHAA web site for a position in Deakin ACT. I contacted the clinic. Position taken. One week later, the call came that the candidate had changed her mind. Now the heartache began.

I’m a mother. I am also the main earner in the family. I have the most potential to earn the most money for the least hours at work. I love living on the coast. I love seeing the beach every day. I love the patients I look after, and in a small town it was no mean feat to leave a position without discrediting my employer. But I was absolutely miserable at work. The crunch came, and after negotiating excellent hours and conditions at work, I took the position in Deakin and resigned my job in Batemans Bay.

This is how it works now:

Monday morning I get up and start driving by 6.30am to arrive around 8.30am for a 9.00am patient. Tuesday and Wednesday I asked to start at 8.00am finishing at 5.00pm. Thursday I work 8.00am to 1.00pm (no break) to allow me to drive home in good daylight (avoiding ‘roos, wombats, echidnas) and before the ACT beachgoers hit the road. The position is 28 hours, and I achieve that whilst being able to be home for my kids by about 3.30-4.00pm each Thursday. I have Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Sunday night at home. On long weekends, we arrange for me to come in at 9.00am if possible on the following workday to allow me maximum time at home. I have negotiated one week leave every school holidays, and hope to get 3 weeks leave every Summer to maximize time at the beach. Leave is accrued at 4 weeks per year, so excess leave is either worked up in extra hours or I opt for leave without pay. My employer is very flexible about all these matters. I was quite forthright about my needs to fulfill both work and home responsibilities, but thankfully my employers realized the benefit in workplace flexibility and compromise to gain and retain a valuable employee. My last workplace had failed miserably on these counts – not only was I told when my leave would be (my boss had infant children so leave was never in school holidays so bad luck for me); but we did not get paid public holidays. If a public holiday happened on a Monday, all staff was compelled to attend work on the Friday to make up the time, and we were paid the usual 4 day pay packet. I actually get more time with my children by working at the new position in Deakin! How absurd.

THE BENEFITS

  1. I get 3 nights to myself! I live in a unit in Kingston, having been put in contact with an unattached lady of a similar age with a spare bedroom in her unit. She had had a full time tenant in the room before, but had found the lack of privacy on weekends with friends and her boyfriend annoying. I was the perfect solution for her – she charges half rent for half the week, and friends can sleep in my bed if the bars at Kingston prevent the car being driven! A great arrangement.
  2. I love the kids of course, so I ring them every Tuesday night to say Hi and any other time there is a special event on.
  3. I can concentrate on work while I am in Canberra. If a patient takes longer than it should at the end of the day, or the boss wants a meeting, I do not feel that pressing urgency to get out of the building and get home because the kids are waiting for me. The work pressure of getting out on time and getting home to start dinner is hard to describe to anyone who is not a mother. My own husband had not experienced this pressure, since our work lives up until 2002 had me getting home first hence being the one who MUST get home or to the childcare centre to pick up the kids to avoid being fined for late pick-ups. Now that the kids are older, they can be trusted to catch buses and let themselves into the house if Peter is at work.
  4. The balance is good. Peter works 5 days per fortnight on the usual roster. This works out such that he has to work only 2 days in a fortnight on a school day. All others are FRI, SAT, SUN and I am home to be there for the children. Peter gets time to himself for approximately seven days per fortnight while school is in; I get 3 nights per week and Fridays. We are both getting some ‘me time’. Every second Friday Peter and I can spend the day together, have lunch, go to the movies or just enjoy each other’s company. Fridays are days that often have special events at schools so I can even attend these occasions for the kids.
  5. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I think we have a better appreciation for each other in the family.

THE DRAWBACKS

  1. Obviously, for 3 nights I am NOT there. I miss the children and Peter, and they miss me.
  2. Long term, I am concerned that the children may have a ‘but you wouldn’t know….you weren’t there’ attitude. My 10 year old said something the other day to that effect. I will be monitoring this situation.
  3. Peter has to remain in a part time position at least for the next few years, so his career has stalled. This, of course, is the sacrifice someone in the family usually has to make when children are of school age. In our case, it is the husband making the sacrifice. We will re-evaluate this in the longer term.
  4. Society has trouble reconciling the mother going out to work, earning the majority of income, and especially does not come to terms easily with a father being key contact for the children’s needs. We get interesting reactions of horror that I am away from the children during the week, yet we all accepted for years that the father can be away for long periods with rep work, business trips, and going for a drink at the pub after work until the kids are in bed!

CONCLUSION

Successful balance between home, work and family is a complex issue with no perfect solution. If we are to even approach a model of balance I feel there are some key elements required:

  1. Understanding employers with flexible workplace agreements. Industrial and workplace advisory and education services for business owners need to incorporate concepts of flexibility and ‘thinking outside the square’ when it comes to work hours arrangements and leave entitlements. It is lucrative for a small business in the long run to flex a little in their attitudes to merging home and work – the happier the family is, the happier the worker and the more productivity and less time is lost to family or sick leave to attend to the family anyway. It makes economical sense.
  2. Societal views to mothers in work need to readjust to the new age. I have fairly strong beliefs that mum is the person who needs to be at home with the very young infant, since we have the milk production available and it is an innate need for mother and baby to be together. However, as the mother feels able to move back into the workforce, we need to see it as ‘normal’ that she has aspirations to work and contribute in a way she feels is best for her, for her family, and for society.
  3. I’m not sure how we produce understanding partners like mine who pull up anchor and move interstate for their partner to study! I have to say there is a whole other chapter about the upheaval it caused, and the potential marital disaster this whole era of our marriage could have been. Peter was most unhappy about moving to QLD (again…we had been there on posting before). We had just done up our home in Newcastle, things we settling into a nice pattern of life, and Peter saw it as going backwards to get a mortgage again when we had just paid off the Newcastle home. This was not the happiest part of our union. It took a lot of backbone from me, understanding and tolerance from him, and lots of working 5-6 days per week and feeling like a machine churning out patients, work, housework, food, washing, assignments, exams, and off to work again on Monday. Marriage is not all beer and skittles, and I feel that we managed to see the future through the fog of the difficult years. I’m not convinced my generation, and certainly not the following one, have the fortitude to keep trying to work things out TOGETHER. How to solve this one? I hope I am an example to my boys that the female can be the career person and the family can still survive.
  4. As far as the division of home labour is concerned, we are doing pretty well. Our years in Brisbane (in fact the first 10 years of parenthood), I was the major supplier of food, clean clothes, Christmas arrangements, birthday party co-ordinator, sport co-ordinator, and cleaner, as well as working 3-5 days per week. Peter has always helped around the home, and did all out door work, and maintains our cars, and can fix pretty much anything. Now he is shouldering the homework single handedly (much more now of course); arranges all sport arrival and departures; attends school meetings if they occur midweek; does ALL the grocery shopping; cooks 3 nights per week; cleans and keeps a tidy home; and does the washing. I come home to pitch in with sport, mainly on Sundays for soccer in winter and as a Patrol Member at our local surf club Nippers. I still co-ordinate parties; assist in major clean-up weekly; do all ironing and finalise folding washing. I generally cook the 4 nights I am home.
  5. As a point of further discussion of female employment – I have friends who are working at the local hospitals as nurses. The difficulty they are finding is the era of contracts in government work. Nursing used to be one of those areas of stability and reliable, long-term work. These days, with local management handling the purse strings, the main type of employment is not permanent part or full time, but contracts. This has often come up in discussions as the reason many nurses with great depths of experience are leaving the health system in droves. There is no control over the work arrangements and little long-term benefits like long service leave that is continuously reliable. The government employers need to monitor how tightening spending will COST taxpayers dearly when highly trained professionals cannot remain in their main area of expertise, due to inconsistent work arrangements.
  6. For your interest, my own mother (June Webster) is a journalist with a newspaper in Nowra at the age of 71. My father passed away in late 2003, so she has been able to continue working for her own interest and mental health since his loss, and since she no longer has a carer’s role. She is revered at her place of work as a wise and valuable member of the staff. She was formerly manager of the Area News in Griffith NSW at the time of Donald Mackay’s disappearance. She speaks of writing a biography about Don. Mum has worked since I commenced school in 1969. My mother-in-law, Susan Stephenson has a thriving bridal shop in Fyshwick at the age of 64 and has also worked her entire life with small businesses when the children were small, through to today. I attribute Peter and my attitudes to working mothers as being driven by the excellent examples set by both our mothers.

I trust this submission has effectively covered our life, division of labour, division of work commitments, management of children and home life and how we attempt to keep our relationship nurtured and intact. So far, so good. We will keep our routine of my work in Canberra, and living on the coast for as long as we feel it is sustainable. We try to regularly keep in touch with the kids’ feelings on the whole arrangement. As I write this, my new position and better wages has prompted us to look at upgrading our home to a newer home, with less maintenance, closer to the beach. With compromise can come benefits for us all in our quality of life.

Mrs. Tanya Fane

Dental Therapist

Dental Hygienist

Bronze Medallion (attained at the age of 39 in 2003)